Tag: habits

07/28/2015

Vacation Habits

Accomplishing goals and starting new habits is difficult.

We’re busy. We’re tired. We’ve got competing priorities. There are too many fires to put out and the hose isn’t big enough. The most common way for us to receive any reprieve from the everyday cycle of stress is one blissful word: vacation.

On vacation, our obligations to respond to emails, shuttle kids to and from practices and sit in rush hour traffic all disappear.

Poof.

But what do we do with that free time?

While at the lake a couple weeks ago, I decided to wake up at 5:30am (or earlier) every day to be able to ski on water as smooth as glass (literally…check out the picture above). Why is this relevant (or sane), you ask? Fair question.

Over the last few months, my ability/willingness to wake up at 5:30 and write blog posts fell off dramatically (read: entirely). Were there legitimate reason? Sure, but we’ll get to that another time. But while I do genuinely love skiing at sunrise, I realized those early mornings would simultaneously serve as an opportunity to get back into my early-rising, blog-writing routine.

I haven’t been perfect since then, but the motivation to get up and start is so much greater than it was before vacation. That little taste of morning productivity rekindled the fire that was soundly asleep (and all too prone to hit the snooze button). It was just what I needed.

The Alternative Option
For many of us, the downside of this theory is that vacation time is limited. i.e. We don’t have many opportunities to jump start these good habits. Fear not, there’s good news…it’s call “the weekend”.

We may not be quite as free of responsibilities on the weekend, but odds are good there should be at least 16-18 hours of time freed up by not having to be on the clock, right? Why not try and use some of those hours to reach a goal or start a new habit?

Sit down and dig into that book you’ve been wanting to read. Go meet up with that exercise group at the park. Prep your food for the week so you know you have healthy meals waiting for you in the fridge after work every day. The possibilities are endless!

Vacation is supposed to be a time of rejuvenation, allowing us to come back refreshed and excited. For me, there’s nothing more rejuvenating or exciting than knowing I’ve been able to take a step towards a personal goal.

02/03/2015

Why We Don’t Ask Questions – Pt 2

A couple of weeks ago, we discussed the notion that being told “no” creates a personal fear when asking questions and also looked at how to dispel that fear.

Today, I wanted to address a second cause that keeps us from speaking up: not listening.

Earth to Me
Do you ever find yourself in a situation and realize you completely zoned out? You know you missed something, but you’re too embarrassed to ask?

Me too.

The problem in this situation is that there’s no great way around it. I can try to piece together what I missed based on context clues, but do I really want to ask that question and look like a fool? Nope. I’m just going to keep my mouth shut, thank you very much.

Tune In. Listen Up.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase “active listening”, this is really what it takes.

I understand that meetings get long, professors can be boring and that guy that just walked by the window looked eerily similar to Lenny Kravitz…but he didn’t have a jean jacket on so that couldn’t have been him…wait, did someone just say my name? Dang it…

Personally, I find my listening skills directly conflict with my ego. As in, “I already know what she’s talking about”, so I don’t really need to listen. Or, “His jokes are so lame”, so I would have said it this way. And then, “I can’t wait to share my two cents because it’s the only thing I’ve thought about since we all sat down”, so I missed someone sharing that same opinion already.

It can become so easy to focus on “me” in social situations that active listening ceases to exist. I have to put my own agenda aside and work on giving my full attention to whoever is speaking.

Put my phone away.

Make eye contact.

Nod in agreement.

Take notes – which includes writing down questions, so I don’t focus on my question and stop listening.

Be Interested, Not Interesting.
In his book “How To Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie talks about the importance of “being interested, not interesting”.

One of the most basic elements of being human is a desire to be known. Whether that’s by one really good friend or a group of peers, we at least owe it to each other to listen. It shows that we’re interested in them, shows them respect and affirms the fact that they have self-worth.

Will we always be perfect? No, but but that gives us something to work on.

Does that mean we always have to agree with someone and bottle our own opinions? Definitely not. But as much as we want to share our own stance on a subject, so does someone else. Let that create a dialogue.

Going to Level 3
In college, I took a class on consumer marketing where the bulk of our discussion revolved around Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. One thing I’ve always remembered was the professor’s insistence on being able to ask “Level 3” questions. Meaning, ask questions that are personal and allow someone to share their expertise or a cherished memory. It’s something that has stuck with me to this day, and I try to practice it when I can. It shows that I’m interested, and you can oftentimes see a visible change in that person’s demeanor.

So if I’m honest with myself, the real reason I typically don’t ask questions is because I’m either over thinking it (Pt 1) or not actively listening. If I can work through both of those, questions should become an opportunity for personal, professional and relational growth. So let’s ask away!

01/27/2015

Will Power For President!

I’m not much of a political guru, but headlines are already discussing who may or may not be running for office in 2016. So I would like to formally nominate, Will Power…more commonly pronounced as will-power (see what I did there?)

Over Christmas, a friend lent me a book by Saint Josémaria Escrivá. He was a Catholic priest and founded the order of Opus Dei – an organization that helps people seek holiness in and through their everyday work. His writing is thought-provoking, written in a proverb-like form, and doesn’t beat around the bush. I wanted to share one thought, in particular, with you:

“Will power. A very important quality. Don’t disregard the little things, which are really never futile or trivial. For by the constant practice of repeated self-denial in little things, with God’s grace you will increase in strength and manliness of character. In that way you’ll first become master of yourself, and then a guide and a leader: to compel, to urge, to draw others with your example and with your word and with your knowledge and with your power.”

I know it’s a little long, but it reminded me a lot of my recent post about how beliefs becoming our destiny. It starts with small steps on a regular basis.

I don’t know about you, but one of my long term goals is to help lead and guide people – be it my own family, friends, co-workers or complete strangers through this blog. To get there, though, I’ll have to first live a life with will power that earns respect. Otherwise, I’ll have no way to compel, urge or draw others through my example. But, more importantly, it will also take God’s grace…so I can’t just assume I can do it on my own.

The “little” thing I’m working on right now is going to bed by 10pm. That, consequently, allows me to wake up at 5:30am to spend 30-45 uninterrupted minutes every day working on this site of mine.

Were the first few days rough? Absolutely.

Did it strengthen my resolve to continue and energize me through the rest of the day? Oddly enough, yes.

So what little thing can you start constantly practicing to begin building your will-power? Working out for 20 minutes a day? Taking out the trash when you told your spouse you would? Being more patient with a family member or co-worker?

It could be anything, and that’s the beauty of it. It just takes one consistent effort to eventually start a snowball effect. You see the positive results of one thing you’re doing, and you’ll want it to spread to other areas of your life.

01/05/2015

Using a Zero Balance Budget + A Free Download

Do you make a budget for your monthly spending? Or does that thought suddenly remind you that you need to go clean the kitchen grout?

Photo by Waag Society

While it’s definitely not fun, planning where and how you’ll spend your money is probably the most fundamental element of being disciplined with your spending (and adding a little self-discipline to our lives is what we’re all about here!). So what’s the best way to make a budget? Mathematically speaking, a zero balance budget will make sure that you have a plan for every dollar you earn.

Here’s how it works:

Start with your monthly take-home pay at the top of a page.
Write down every expense you’ll have that month. First, the necessities: rent, utilities, groceries, debts, etc. Then move on to the extras: savings, new clothes, eating out, Starbucks…
Plan every dollar until you have $0 left.

For only a three step process, it’s kind of crazy that budgeting gets so much resistance, isn’t it?

Maybe it’s because people don’t like doing math on paper – it’s feels so 3rd grade, right? But I’m the same way, that’s why I made this downloadable budget spreadsheet to do the work for me.

A few things to note:

Cell names are totally customizable – I tried to be thorough but realize it’s not all-encompassing.
If you don’t have access to Microsoft Excel, I’ve uploaded the spreadsheet to Google Docs, so you can access it by signing into a Gmail account.
If you accidentally delete a function, feel free to come on back and re-download.

Here’s the important part:

Once you’ve filled out the spreadsheet, give your keyboard the ‘ol “Ctrl + P” to send that bad boy to the printer and make yourself a hard copy!

It’ll be tangible. Real. You’ll literally have to throw your budget away if you don’t want to reference it the rest of the month! The goal is to have a plan for your money, so when some sort of temptation or “great deal” crosses your path, you can honestly tell the salesman, “Sorry, my budget’s already set for the month” and walk away.

Try it for a month. See what you think.

We’ll discuss further benefits of having a budget at another time, so until then…

Do you have budgeting questions or tips you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them! Please leave a comment below.